Updated: Jun 10, 2020
- Written by Sylvia Arotin
Guilty….we are all guilty!
Ever had this overwhelming guilt that you were the one that has caused your child’s behaviour? Something you didn’t do right, a question you asked the wrong way, their favourite teddy YOU left behind at home?
Do you sometimes question the way you handled a situation and think “Yup, definitely could’ve handled that differently” and automatically go into ‘fix-it’ mode where we are desperately trying to grab at anything we can to make the situation better? But nothing actually works?
I’m here to tell you that you were doing 100% the best you could, with the situation, circumstances and resources you had available in that moment. I know as a parent or educator you just want to give your children the best always but we need to stop the self-blaming and the narrative of guilt that we place on ourselves because we feel we are not good enough, or not doing enough. There is already an enormous pressure and stress on us raising children in today’s modern society, you need to take a moment and celebrate that you are trying your very best and that is what matters the most.
Let me give you an example…a child has never painted before and attempts to do a painting with half the paint ending up on the floor and half on the paper, would you comment on the paint on the floor or the colourful strokes and dots this child has taken the effort to master in that moment? Most may actually comment on the mess on the floor but I’m asking you to put that aside and celebrate the effort.
Take a moment to change your thought of guilt to one of affirmation; affirmation that you have tried your best, even if you feel like you haven’t. Change the thought to a more positive and confident inner voice because you deserve that reassurance to know you have given your child everything you could in that moment.