Expectations & Comparisons

By Caroline Baughman


How many of you feel like you are not ‘Montessori enough’ or your kids are not sitting and focusing doing activities like you see on social media and Pinterest? Or why your child isn’t speaking yet at 18 months and they should they have 20 words by now?

Feel like you are failing at Montessori?

Let me tell you something…no one can “fail” at Montessori, no one is 100% Montessori, no one’s child sits and focuses 24/7 like you see in pictures and videos it’s maximum 10 seconds you see… until they drop the jug and spill the water, children can have language bursts from 18 months all the way up to 3 years AND no one’s Montessori space is as tidy as the pictures you see!

So why is it that we place this pressure on ourselves and on each other to a standard that is not only false but not reflective of you, your child, your environment and your circumstances? It’s natural that we as humans compare and place expectations onto where our children should be, have to be and want them to be…but that is not going to bring out the best in anyone…rather it is going to place more stress and weight on your shoulders and that then reflected onto your child…something that is not what Montessori is about.

Montessori is about life….it is a lifestyle, it is teaching children life skills, it is building their compassion, kindness, mindfulness, independence, confidence and giving them opportunities to thrive. Let them be your guide, let them show you the lead.

Don’t place pressure on yourselves to have and do all these Montessori ‘activities’ it is not about that, it is about being present, it is about being conscious, it is about love and giving your children the best that you can given your circumstances so go easy on yourself.

We are a community of people who love to inspire others, advise, share and yes we see some beautiful inspirational spaces but don’t let that be a benchmark for you or your child.

Your child is the benchmark for themselves…each child is unique, each child will shine in different areas of development and each child has their own interests…

Follow the child and they will guide you.

You are not wrong, you are not failing….you care so much that you just want to get it right…and guess what? You are getting it right because you are your child’s first and best teacher as a parent, no one can do a better job than you.

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