Negative to Positive language

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– Written by Sylvia Arotin

We all get stuck into the habit of saying NO, DON’T, STOP IT, HURRY UP!

How many times a day do you catch yourself saying that, almost like a broken record and most of the time it doesn’t get you very far except more frustrated?

So is there anything wrong with the way we speak to our children?

Well the way we speak to children becomes their inner voice almost, like a soundtrack that they will involuntarily play back to themselves throughout their lives. Every time you talk to a child you are actually adding one brick to define the relationship that is being built between you two.

So what does that say in terms of the constant barrage of negative language we use with children? There is a fundamental disconnection between the parent and the child when we use this kind of language, almost instructing and controlling children’s behaviour. All the research and psychology points us in the opposite direction to this, stressing the importance of forming strong bonds and connection with children as the underlying foundation for life.


Kids are little people too and they deserve to be spoken to how we communicate with our friends, our peers, our partners and our families.

“Children are our equals, not in skill or knowledge, but in human dignity” – John Peterson (Psychotherapist).

Next time you find yourself using negative language try switching it to positive language to help build strong connections and respectful relationships with your children.

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